Actor Shriya Saran believes parents should ask children more than what they did during a day at school, college or outside the home. They should also ask what happened to them.
In a conversation with Hauterrfly, Shriya reflected on her own experiences of feeling unsafe and helpless while growing up and explained why she believes children need to know that they can tell their parents when something uncomfortable happens.
Her message goes beyond teaching children about safe and unsafe touch. For Shriya, the conversation also needs to include what happens when a child is frightened, confused or worried that they might be blamed.
Shriya Saran: ‘Did Something Happen to You?’
Shriya pointed out that parents often begin conversations with children by asking what the child did.
“Did you fight with anyone? What did you do? Did you misbehave?”
But she believes parents should also ask:
“Did something happen to you? Did someone do something to you?”
According to Shriya, the distinction matters because children can sometimes interpret an uncomfortable experience as their own fault, particularly if they are worried about being reprimanded.
She said parents should listen carefully rather than immediately assuming that the child has done something wrong.
“Ask properly. Ask, ‘Who was there? What happened? Who did what?’”
For Shriya, creating that space for conversation can help children feel that they will be heard rather than blamed.
Shriya Saran Recalls a Disturbing Incident During College
Shriya also recalled an incident from her college years that left her feeling helpless.
While travelling by bus, she said she saw a boy troubling a girl at a crossing. Shriya described the situation as extremely disturbing and said she was shocked that people around the girl were not stepping forward to help.
She got off the bus and approached the girl, but admitted that she was frightened herself and did not know what she could do in the situation.
The experience stayed with her after she returned home.
“I cried a lot later at home. I remember thinking that I could not do anything at that time.”
Shriya’s recollection highlights another aspect of witnessing or experiencing harassment: feeling unable to respond in the moment does not necessarily mean a person does not care. Fear and uncertainty can affect how someone reacts during a threatening situation.
She Also Spoke About Eve-Teasing While Travelling
Shriya said that travelling by bus and taxi was a regular part of her life when she was younger because of her interest in theatre.
She recalled experiencing eve-teasing while travelling at night and said she and her friends sometimes became frightened when a bus emptied out.
“Those moments stayed with me. But life gives you the energy to come out of them.”
The memories, she explained, influenced how she thinks about safety and the importance of creating an environment in which children feel comfortable discussing uncomfortable experiences.
Why Safe and Unsafe Touch Conversations Matter
Shriya also discussed how conversations around children’s safety have changed since she was growing up.
She noted that children today are increasingly taught about safe and unsafe touch, something she said was not discussed in the same way during her childhood.
However, she believes education about personal safety needs to be accompanied by reassurance.
A child may not immediately understand what happened when someone crosses a boundary. Even after learning about inappropriate touch, a child can still become frightened and remain silent.
Shriya said children may even wonder whether they were somehow responsible for what happened.
That is why, in her view, parents have a role not only in teaching children about boundaries but also in making sure they know they can speak without immediately expecting blame.
Watch for Changes in a Child’s Behaviour
Shriya also encouraged parents to pay attention to changes in a child’s behaviour.
She said parents should notice things such as unusual self-consciousness, becoming withdrawn or acting differently around a particular person.
“Their reactions will tell you something. Their body language can change.”
She suggested that parents should try to understand whether a child’s behaviour has changed rather than dismissing it as ordinary moodiness or shyness.
At the same time, behavioural changes alone cannot establish what has happened to a child. They are reasons to check in gently and listen, rather than assumptions that a particular incident has occurred.
‘Sometimes Even One Bad Touch Can Really Leave a Scar’
Shriya stressed that parents cannot control every situation their children may encounter.
What they can do, she believes, is make sure children know where they can turn when something goes wrong.
“We can protect children as much as we can, but beyond that, it is very important that we ask them the right questions.”
She added that if parents sense that something is wrong, taking appropriate action can help children understand that they are being protected and supported.
That sense of safety may make it easier for children to speak up if they encounter another uncomfortable situation later.
A Simple Change in the Questions Parents Ask
One of the most practical ideas emerging from Shriya’s conversation is a small change in everyday communication.
Parents may naturally ask:
“What did you do today?”
They can also add:
“What happened to you today?”
The second question creates an opening to discuss something another person may have said or done.
Parents can follow up calmly with questions such as:
- Who were you with?
- How did you feel?
- Did anyone make you uncomfortable?
- Did anything happen that you did not understand?
- Is there anything you want to tell me?
The aim should not be to interrogate a child or suggest that something bad must have happened. It is to make conversation about safety a normal part of family life.
If a child does disclose something concerning, staying calm, listening without blame and seeking appropriate professional or safeguarding support can be important next steps.
Shriya Saran’s Message to Parents
Shriya’s reflections ultimately return to one idea: children need to know that their parents are a safe place to turn.
Teaching children about boundaries and unsafe situations is important, but so is teaching them that they will be listened to if something happens.
Her own experiences of harassment, fear and helplessness have shaped the way she thinks about parenting her daughter, Radha. And the question she wants parents to remember is deceptively simple:
“Did something happen to you?”
Sometimes, giving a child permission to answer that question honestly can be as important as teaching them what to do when they feel unsafe.
Frequently Asked Questions
What did Shriya Saran say about parenting and child safety?
Shriya Saran said parents should ask children not only what they did during the day but also whether anything happened to them or whether someone made them uncomfortable.
What did Shriya Saran recall from her college years?
She recalled witnessing a disturbing incident involving a girl while travelling by bus and described feeling frightened and helpless when she tried to approach the situation.
What did Shriya say about safe and unsafe touch?
Shriya said children today are more likely to be taught about safe and unsafe touch, but education alone may not be enough. She stressed that children can still feel frightened or blame themselves and therefore need an environment where they can speak openly.
What signs did Shriya suggest parents should notice?
She mentioned changes such as unusual self-consciousness, becoming introverted or behaving differently around a particular person. Such changes should prompt a calm conversation rather than an immediate assumption about what happened.
Who is Shriya Saran’s daughter?
Shriya Saran has a daughter named Radha. In discussing parenting, she connected her own childhood experiences with what she wants her daughter to understand about safety and communication.
Final Word
Shriya Saran’s comments offer a reminder that child safety conversations should not end with rules about what children should or should not do. Children also need to know that if another person crosses a boundary, they can tell someone they trust without fearing immediate blame.
The difference between asking “What did you do?” and “What happened to you?” may be only a few words, but it can open a very different kind of conversation.
