‘Saans Lene Ke Bhi Paise Lagte Hain’: NRI Woman Sparks Debate on Why Meeting Friends in India Always Comes With a Bill

For many people living in India’s major cities, meeting friends usually begins with a familiar question: “Coffee kahan peeni hai?”

A casual catch-up often means choosing a café, restaurant, mall, bar or another commercial venue. The plan may start with a simple intention to spend time together, but by the end of the day, there are often several expenses involved—transport, food, drinks, parking and other incidental costs.

Now, an NRI woman visiting India from Australia has sparked a wider social-media debate after questioning why simply spending time with friends in many Indian cities appears to come with a price tag.

Her central argument was simple: Why does socialising outside the home so often require people to become paying customers?

The video has resonated with many users, opening up a broader conversation about urban planning, consumer culture, public infrastructure and the shrinking availability of free community spaces.

‘Saans lene ke bhi paise lagte hain’

In a viral Instagram Reel, Smidha, a desi expat based in Australia, shared her experience of spending time in India and realising how much money she was spending simply while trying to meet people and explore the city.

“I realised how much money I spent just trying to hang out,” she said.

Smidha explained that during her time in Mumbai, she wanted to explore the city and spend time with friends. However, she noticed that many casual plans eventually turned into visits to a café, restaurant or mall.

What initially seemed like normal socialising gradually began to feel expensive.

Before moving to Australia, she said, she had not paid much attention to the pattern because it had always seemed normal.

Meeting friends meant eating somewhere, ordering coffee or going to a commercial entertainment space.

But after living abroad, the contrast became more visible.

Smidha pointed out that in Australia, people can meet friends for a coastal walk, spend hours in a park or sit together in a public library without being expected to make a purchase.

“You don’t need a receipt to justify your presence,” she said while describing the difference.

Her comment struck a chord because it shifted the conversation away from individual spending habits and towards a larger question: Are cities providing enough spaces where people can simply exist without paying?

‘Milna hai toh pehle decide karo coffee kahan peeni hai’

One of the most relatable lines from the discussion is the familiar routine surrounding social plans in urban India.

“Milna hai toh pehle decide karo coffee kahan peeni hai.”

For many young people, cafés and restaurants have become the default location for catching up with friends.

There are several reasons behind this.

Homes may not always offer privacy or enough space for guests. Long commutes can make travelling between friends’ houses inconvenient. Extreme weather conditions can also discourage outdoor plans.

In dense metropolitan areas, malls and cafés offer air-conditioned, predictable and relatively safe environments.

But the convenience comes with a cost.

A simple meeting can involve:

• Cab or metro fares
• Coffee or beverages
• Food
• Service charges
• Parking costs
• Entry or cover charges at some venues
• Shopping or other incidental spending

Individually, each expense may appear manageable. But together, they can turn an ordinary social meeting into a significant financial commitment.

That is the experience Smidha described when she said she had started noticing how much money was being spent simply on hanging out.

Are Indian cities turning people into customers before they can socialise?

The viral debate has brought attention to an increasingly discussed issue in urban life: the difference between a public space and a commercial space.

A public space is generally understood as an area where people can gather, rest, walk or spend time without the expectation of purchasing something.

Parks, libraries, promenades, beaches and public squares can serve this purpose.

Commercial spaces, meanwhile, operate around transactions.

Cafés, restaurants and malls may provide comfortable places to meet, but access to the experience is usually connected to spending.

Smidha summarised her observation by suggesting that many cities had become places where people need to be customers before they can simply be people.

That idea triggered a strong reaction online.

Many users said the problem was not necessarily that people enjoy cafés and restaurants. Instead, they argued that commercial venues have increasingly become the only practical option for socialising outside the home.

Why are cafés and malls the default meeting places?

The answer may be more complicated than simply blaming “café culture.”

Indian cities face several challenges that can make free socialising difficult.

Limited public seating

In many urban areas, people can walk through public places but may struggle to find comfortable, well-maintained spaces where they can sit for long periods.

Weather conditions

Extreme heat, heavy rain and high humidity can make outdoor socialising difficult for significant parts of the year.

Air-conditioned cafés and malls therefore become attractive alternatives.

Safety concerns

Some people, particularly women and young adults, may feel safer in monitored commercial environments than in isolated or poorly maintained public spaces.

Traffic and long commutes

When meeting someone already requires spending an hour or more in traffic, people may prefer choosing one convenient destination rather than moving between multiple locations.

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A post shared by Kahani & Conversations | Smidha (@kahaniandconversations)

Lack of accessible community infrastructure

Public libraries, parks and cultural centres can provide alternatives to commercial entertainment. However, their availability and quality vary significantly between cities and neighbourhoods.

This means the problem discussed in the viral video may be less about coffee itself and more about the absence of convenient alternatives.

Netizens say they miss free community spaces

The Reel triggered a wide range of reactions.

One user commented that India had become increasingly dependent on malls and shops, adding that community spaces were disappearing.

Another said that eating and drinking had become the primary concept of socialising.

Some users argued that the design of modern cities often prioritises commercial development over public spaces where people can spend time without spending money.

Others pointed to environmental conditions.

One commenter noted that summer heat, limited green areas and weak public infrastructure often push people towards indoor commercial spaces.

Another user argued that people often need money simply to find somewhere comfortable to sit and spend time with another person outside their homes.

The comments reflected frustration, but they also highlighted how closely social life is connected to urban design.

Is consumerism the real problem?

Smidha later asked whether the situation represented a broader problem with consumerism or whether people had simply become accustomed to using cafés and malls as the default places to meet.

The answer, according to the debate online, may be a combination of both.

Consumer culture can encourage people to associate leisure with spending.

At the same time, people choose cafés and malls because they provide something cities sometimes fail to provide elsewhere: seating, shelter, clean washrooms, air conditioning and a place to stay for several hours.

In that sense, commercial venues are filling a social need.

The concern arises when affordable or free alternatives are either unavailable or difficult to access.

A café is not necessarily the problem. For many people, cafés are important social and cultural spaces.

The larger issue is whether people have enough choices.

The importance of ‘third places’

Urban planners and sociologists often discuss the concept of a “third place.”

The first place is generally considered the home, while the second is the workplace or school.

A third place is somewhere people can gather informally and build social connections.

Traditionally, parks, libraries, community centres, public squares and neighbourhood spaces have played this role.

In many modern cities, commercial venues increasingly function as third places.

However, when every third place requires spending, social connection can become more expensive.

This can particularly affect students, young professionals and people with limited disposable income.

The viral discussion surrounding Smidha’s video highlights the importance of ensuring that urban life includes spaces where people do not have to justify their presence through a transaction.

Free ways to spend time with friends in Indian cities

Despite the challenges, many cities still offer opportunities for low-cost or free socialising.

Depending on the location, friends can consider:

• Public parks and gardens
• Beaches and promenades
• Public libraries
• Walking and heritage trails
• Free museum days
• Community events
• Outdoor cultural programmes
• Cycling routes
• Neighbourhood markets
• Public art spaces

The availability of these options differs from city to city.

However, the larger conversation may encourage people to reconsider whether every social plan needs to revolve around ordering food or drinks.

Why the debate resonates beyond one Instagram Reel

The popularity of Smidha’s video shows that her observation connected with a larger urban experience.

For many people, spending time with friends is no longer only about friendship. It also requires budgeting.

A spontaneous evening out can easily become expensive once transportation and food are included.

The discussion has therefore moved beyond the question of whether someone should buy coffee.

It has become a conversation about what cities are designed for.

Are they places where people can walk, sit, talk and relax without spending money?

Or are they increasingly environments where leisure and public interaction depend on commercial transactions?

The final word

Smidha’s caption, “Saans lene ke bhi paise lagte hain,” may have been humorous, but the discussion it generated points towards a serious urban question.

Meeting friends should not automatically require a bill.

Yet for many people in major Indian cities, cafés, restaurants and malls have become the most practical places to gather.

The viral conversation is not necessarily a criticism of cafés or dining out. Instead, it highlights the importance of giving people more options.

Public parks, libraries, promenades and community spaces can make cities more liveable by allowing people to socialise without feeling pressured to spend.

As one social-media debate continues to show, the real question may not be whether Indians spend too much when they meet friends.

It may be this:

Why has spending money become one of the easiest ways to find a place where people can simply spend time together?