Bollywood actor Kajol says her biggest achievement as a parent has been raising children who are confident in their own individuality, despite growing up in one of Hindi cinema’s most well-known families.
In a recent conversation with Pinkvilla, the Dilwale actor reflected on parenting her children, Nysa and Yug, with husband Ajay Devgn. Kajol emphasised that while both parents come from the film industry and have experienced fame closely, their children have grown into individuals with distinct personalities.
“They’re my kids, they’re his kids, but I’m very proud to say they are completely their own people,” Kajol said.
Sharing a moment that, for her, perfectly defines her children’s mindset, Kajol recalled asking her son Yug whether he wanted to look like her or his father. “He looked at me calmly and said, ‘I look like Yug.’ That answer says everything about my children,” she said.
Kajol added that allowing her children to think independently has been central to her parenting approach. “I’m happy that I’ve raised two individuals who have their own personalities and know how to think for themselves. That’s been my biggest teaching as a parent,” she said.
Parenting Through Independence
Mental health expert Rima Bhandekar from Mpower Helpline at Aditya Birla Education Trust explained that Kajol’s approach reflects an independence-focused parenting style. This method encourages children to explore and grow on their own while knowing that parental support is always available when needed.
“This style is very different from helicopter parenting, where parents constantly monitor children,” Bhandekar said. “Here, children are given space to make decisions, face challenges and learn from experiences, while parents step in only when required.”
According to Bhandekar, this approach helps build internal confidence and decision-making skills naturally. Parents may encourage children to try new activities and manage difficulties without immediate intervention, allowing them to understand their own strengths and limits.
Benefits and Challenges
An independence-led parenting style can help children develop resilience, confidence and emotional awareness. Children learn to handle challenges on their own, develop problem-solving abilities through trial and error, and grow at their own pace without constant pressure to conform.
However, experts caution that too much independence may overwhelm some children. “Certain children may struggle with organisation or knowing when to ask for help,” Bhandekar noted. Others may require clearer boundaries, structure and discipline to manage impulsive behaviour or social and academic expectations.
She added that while stay-at-home parents may find it easier to closely guide children, working parents can adopt this approach by maintaining open communication and involving children in everyday decision-making whenever possible.
Kajol’s reflections highlight a parenting philosophy rooted in trust, balance and emotional support—one that prioritises raising confident individuals over controlling outcomes.
